In the midst of overwhelming grief, guilt, and crushing familial expectations, choosing one's own peace can feel like an impossible act. This is the difficult position one reader found herself in when she made the controversial decision to embark on a long-awaited dream cruise just days after her 15-year-old stepson tragically died in a car accident. While many would have chosen to remain behind, she felt that honoring her own needs, after years of sacrifice, was a necessary priority, even in the face of immense suffering and the certainty of judgment.
She shared her story in a letter:
*My husband and I have been together for 11 years, and in all that time, we never managed to take a real vacation. For three years, we scrupulously saved every dollar for our dream cruise.*
*But four days before our departure, our world shattered when my 15-year-old stepson was killed. The grief was unbearable, and my heart broke for my husband. Despite the tragedy, I couldn’t ignore the immense emotional, mental, and financial investment I had in this trip. I told him, "You can stay, but I won’t give this up.” He responded with silence.*
*While I was on the cruise, he called. Hearing his voice, I froze. He said, "You are not coming back to this house ever again.” I was stunned. While still at sea, I discovered he had gathered all of my belongings and placed them on the lawn, even contacting my mother to collect them. In an instant, my life collapsed, and the dream trip was overshadowed by devastation.*
*Upon my return, he informed me he had already filed for divorce. He stated he could not stay married to someone who would leave immediately after his son’s death. I initially tried to rationalize it as grief talking, but I now believe he meant every word.*
*I am left questioning myself: Was it so wrong to take a trip I saved two years for? I didn’t want to throw away all that effort. But now, I fear I have lost everything else instead.*
*Was I at fault? What should I do now?*
